


Like like me.

by orphan_account



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Asexuality, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-20
Updated: 2014-11-20
Packaged: 2018-02-26 09:17:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,678
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2646581
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Harry came back to Hogwarts to teach, he didn't expect to fall for his old potions master. What will he do when Severus isn't exactly interested in the same way.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Like like me.

**Author's Note:**

> This- along with 'Want is a Peculiar Thing' was a series of writing experiments with asexual spectrum characters.

On Tuesdays and Thursdays after dining in the great hall, they usually convene to his quarters. Begin each night by grading papers and complaining about the most recent batch of neanderthals to grace their classes and usually end by sipping scotch or whisky by the fire. Casually chatting about nothing, or sometimes, just enjoying the silence together. 

Severus has never been a kind man, but now that Harry has grown he finds humor in his once professor’s snarkings. In turn, Severus has been forced, albeit grudgingly, to admit that perhaps Harry isn’t as thick as he once was. The headmistress has more than once made it known that she finds their friendship bewildering, but nice. After all, with Harry in his quarters, Severus doesn’t assign quite as many detentions or take as many points. And with Severus in his corner, Harry is not as lost as he could be in terms of teaching children.

They eat together most evenings, and occasionally meet up in their spare time, so when Harry asks him after the Slytherin v. Ravenclaw if perhaps he’d like to go to dinner outside of Hogwarts sometime( “There’s this muggle restrauant I’ve been dying to try, and can’t go out to eat alone, ya know?”)- Severus tries to think nothing of it and tells him that he’s free the next night.

Harry spends the entire day fretting over what to wear, nervously compliments Severus’s choice of muggle attire. The older man gives him an odd look, fidgets with the cuff of his sleeve before commenting that it’s nice to see him putting effort into the rats nest he calls hair for once. Harry grins, self consciously tugging on the locks that he has pulled back and tied with a green ribbon, and ushers Severus out the door and to the apparition point. 

The Italian restaurant is cozy and Harry knows him well enough to know that Snape is vaguely impressed despite comments made regarding Harry’s inability to pronounce the wine they’re drinking. Once the older man accepts that Harry hasn’t dragged him out in order to spring some sort of terrible news, he relaxes and the conversation flows as easily as the drinks.

In the back alley way, if Harry leans a little closer than necessary for sidealong, then Severus attributes it to the alcohol- the little brushes of the his fingers against the back of his hand to the cold as they walk back to Hogwarts. He’s grown used to the way Harry puts an arm around his shoulder, or presses his hand against his chest to make a point, the younger professor has a casual sort of intimacy with touch and he’d stopped trying to stop it from happening early on in their comradery.

At the castle steps, fingers tug on his sleeve and he turns to look at the young man, his face flushed. They stand there for a few minutes before Harry shakes his head and makes an excuse about the alcohol and asks if he’d like to do it again sometime. That it was fun and there are still more things Harry would like to try.

They visit the muggle cinema, which Severus hates. The museums he doesn’t mind, and Harry enjoys teasing him when he doesn’t already know who the artist is. There is food, wine, and laughter, much more than Harry imagined. He’s still trying to work up the nerve to kiss him, to take it to the next step, but knows that there is some kind of understanding here.

Which is why it takes him by complete surprise when Severus doesn’t respond to the lips pressed against his. Snape had dragged him to a potion convention this weekend, in ‘punishment’ for the amusement park that Harry had taken them to the previous one. It’s been months, and maybe he’s had a little bit too much brandy, but there’s something about how animated Severus gets when talking about belladona that he can’t resist and he can’t think of a reason to wait any longer.

He isn’t sure what he expects. Knows the fantasy, that the first press of their lips would be tentative and then give way to something hungrier. That they’d leave the study and head back to Severus’s bedroom. Has considered all the possible reactions, including Snape throwing him out by his ear, except he never imagined this… this non reaction.

When he pulls back, Severus is giving him a peculiar look, long sallow fingers unfurling from his glass to tentatively touch at his bottom lip.

"Mr. Potter I am…. "

Harry isn’t sure what Severus is about to say, pretends that it isn’t knife to stomach hearing his last name again, shakes his head to cut the man off.

" What? you are? if this is about your age, or us being inappropriate.. it’s not. I don’t care that you’re old enough to be my father. I’m closer to 30 than not these days, and 20 or so years isn’t that big of a gap in the wizarding world. Not when folks live well past 100. Severus… I’ve really enjoyed the past year or so working with you so closely, and more than that the past few months… and I thought.. I thought we had an understanding.. come on? just… give me a chance?"

"I’m not…. Harry… I’m unsure what I have done to give you the illusion.. I am not.."

"Not what? Oh god. You’re straight aren’t you? I’ve gone and kissed a straight bloke. You’re going to hex me and I’m not going to stop you because you have every right."

"Breathe, Mr. Potter. I am most definitely not a heterosexual, but nor am I a homosexual.

Harry… I’ve enjoyed spending time with you too… however, I do not… partake.. in the activities that most… consider necessary for a relationship.”

"Partake? in what? Sev, I don’t know if it’s missed your notice, but we’ve practically already been dating. The only thing that’s been missing is the.."

"Is the sex, Harry. Which I do not partake in. I do not…. find it enjoyable, nor do I experience the desire to have it. "

"What? What man doesn’t? You’ve never?"

"I’ve never. and I don’t plan to do so in the future, Harry. I am what you might call an asexual. In my younger days I did occasionally.. explore. And I don’t mind kissing but much past that…. doesn’t interest me. Nor am I sure that… I enjoy your company, Harry. I do. I enjoy spending time with you perhaps more than expected. However, I am unsure that I return the feelings that you have for me in the same way…. should this be a matter of feelings at all."

"Oh god, of course it’s a matter of feelings. I didn’t just decide one day ‘hey let’s ask Snape if he’s down for a quick roll in the sack’. No offense, but you aren’t exactly the most approachable bloke. I’d have… it doesn’t matter. What do you mean you don’t return them ‘in the same way’? I won’t lie, the idea of going without sex isn’t exactly… uh… exciting. but I’ve got my right hand. and I’m willing to use him if it means getting the rest of you.. ya know?"

Severus looks decidedly uncomfortable and Harry finally takes a good step back and drops to sit back on the sofa. 

"Harry… without… sexual desire… it has been difficult for me to discern whether or not…. and especially with so few opportunities in my adult life to explore…"

"explore? what?"

"I do… have feelings for you. However, you have to understand that I am a man who has had few… opportunities for romantic entanglements or even good friendship. I am…. afraid that I do not have the prerequisite knowledge to be sure if what I feel for you is simply good friendship or… if it matches yours. After all, for most… my disposition means I’m out of the running to begin with. It’s never been a feeling worth.. further examining."

Harry stares at him, tries to untwist the last few minutes in his head, “So… what you’re saying is…. you know you like me… but you don’t know if you like like me because you don’t want to bang me, and most people think you have to want to bang someone to like like them?”

It gets a laugh out of Severus, admittedly a nervous one, but Harry can’t help but grin in return. “I suppose that is an adequate explanation.”

"So… would…. you be willing to figure it out with me? Like I said, I’ve got my right hand, and my left if that one gets boring. and I mean.. if you decide in the end that.. it’s not worth it.. we break up. but that’s normal relationship stuff ya know.."

Severus pauses, swirls the liquid around in his glass before nodding, ” So long as you aren’t expecting me to change. “

The grin on the younger’s face grows, and then he bites his lip unsure, ” I don’t expect you to change. That’d be like… asking you to stop being a git. but uh… you said that you’d… in your youth….”

Severus looks at him unsure, not wanting to deal with having to explain that his youth aside, he would never be interested in sex, unwilling to explain the way even the idea makes him feel.

"Could we still maybe.. kiss? Just kiss. Not expecting ya to consent to a snogging session in bed or anything but I kind of like to kiss my date good night, ya know?"

Severus releases a breath he didn’t even realize he’d been holding, sets his glass on the table before standing to cross to the younger man. There’s a soft brush of lips, and he pulls back to say, “Good night, Harry.”

When they finally part ways, Harry kisses him again, all smiles as he floats out the door. Severus isn’t sure what he’s gotten himself into, but he finds he doesn’t quite mind. Somethings, after all, are worth giving a try.


End file.
